would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
