if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
