just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
