Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize