dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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