Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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