I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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