the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
