Sponge bath it is.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
