Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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