Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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