hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
