is your mom at the bar?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize