and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
