I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just had sex on a roof
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
