I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
