Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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