Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
