dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
