he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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