I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
