I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
