batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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