i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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