did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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