I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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