I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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