well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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