This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
