He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
