Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
