You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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