i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
