I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
