Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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