You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
