I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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