oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
