these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
