Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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