Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
