ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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