Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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