Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
