Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize