I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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