Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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