I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
