Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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