At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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