He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize