Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
