It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
