so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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