if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
