all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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