I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How external is "for external use only"?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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