Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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