found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The air was thick with penises
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
