just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can text with my tongue
People in love make me want to vomit
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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