I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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